


Exciting Times

by Laney1728



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alma Lane, Angst, Don't Judge Me, Fluff, Humor, Mr. Mercedes, Started as a joke but now it's got actual plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21661846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laney1728/pseuds/Laney1728
Summary: Kate Mulgrew was recently on a show called Mr. Mercedes and she played a character named Alma Lane. This character had some of the most outrageous dialogue I have ever heard and it was incredible. One night I thought about situations in which Kathryn Janeway might be able to use these same snippets of dialogue...this is what I came up with._____________________________Post endgame! Kathryn and Chakotay are finally together, but life is never simple or easy, especially for these two.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Comments: 89
Kudos: 47





	1. When you fuck me, do you think of that twitty little thing?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [janewayseyebrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/janewayseyebrow/gifts).



> Thank you to my lovely friends who were able to give this a quick read and encouraged me to post this! This is definitely not a serious story but I had a lot of fun writing it. Not heavily beta read so let me know if you find any mistakes and I can fix it!

They’d been dating for one month. A month of pure bliss if anyone asked her, and yet tonight she felt like she would rather chop off her own arm than go to this party with him. The crew wasn’t aware that their former command team had gone from wearing boots to knocking them. She knew there would be many questions both uncomfortable and harmless, but the attention from their revealed relationship wasn’t the main cause of her hesitation. This would be the first time seeing Seven since they had arrived back on earth. It would also be the first time she would see her since Kathryn effectively stole her boyfriend. She hadn’t meant to, and Chakotay assured her that his relationship with Seven had already been coming to an end the night that they shared their first kiss. It was still wrong, she had still kissed someone who was in a relationship with someone else. 

Though she managed to restrain herself until he was fully available, she couldn’t rid herself of this nagging guilt, nor could she ignore that evil thought in her head that kept telling her she wasn’t the better option. She knew Seven was younger, prettier, and more intriguing to the opposite sex, and while she never considered herself to be insecure, she still had her moments of doubt. This had been one of them. 

She put on her best dress, an elegant red number with a modest front and a daring back, and she curled her shoulder-length hair softly. As she descended the stairs to meet Chakotay, she noticed his eyes traveling up and down her body, a wave of desire struck her and she whispered: “Are you sure we can’t just stay here? I can guarantee we’d have more fun,” she raised her brow and smirked suggestively. 

She took notice of his blush and then he coughed and said: “You have no idea how tempting that sounds, but Kathryn we promised the crew that we’d go. We wouldn’t be a very good command team if we missed our own one year anniversary of making it home,”

“I know, I know,” she shook her head. 

She leaned in close until her breath tickled his lips and she felt him shutter. 

“But still...your loss,” she winked and turned toward the mirror on the wall to put in her earrings. As she turned, she gave him a full view of her back and saw his desire burning hot in his reflection. 

He approached her from behind and kissed her neck, causing her to moan softly. 

“Spirits woman, you have no idea what you do to me. There is nothing I’d like more than to cancel everything for tonight and take you to bed but I have some surprises planned and promises were made, we have to go. But, maybe during the evening, we can find an opportunity to go somewhere a little more private,” his hands ran from her hips down her thighs. 

She laughed and removed his hands from their teasing paths. 

“No way! I am not getting caught having a quickie in the coatroom! Tom would never let us live it down, Harry will never want to look either of us in the eyes, and B’Elanna would be laughing until her face turns blue. Either we cancel everything and go back upstairs or we have to wait until later tonight, but I can’t ensure that I’ll have enough energy,” she fixed her lipstick and turned back to face him, placing the palms of both hands on his chest. 

“When have you ever not had energy?” he asked with a smirk. 

“Good point,” she said walking past him and out the door. 

As they walked through the large glass doors arm-in-arm, the stares and excited whispers became hard to ignore. No one could keep their eyes off the couple of the hour. Several crew members congratulated them, others jokingly said things such as “It’s about time!” which never failed to make the two of them chuckle. It was the truth after all.

Kathryn felt a bit more settled after the excitement died down, but not a second after she felt calm, Seven walked in alone. Chakotay brought her back a drink and his eyes left hers and traveled to the voluptuous blonde. Instant embarrassment and self-doubt clouded every other rational thought. Suddenly her dress wasn't nice enough, her hair was falling flat, and she could feel every line on her face, every area of her body that had softened over the years and they were all mocking her relentlessly. She looked down at the drink in her hand, not one sip gone, and she knew she’d need a second one. 

As the night progressed, his eyes would constantly glance in Seven’s direction. Every time he looked away from her she felt a pang of sadness in her heart and a bit of jealousy. Excusing herself, she downed another drink and went outside on a terrace, a new glass in hand. The alcohol had numbed the anger and jealousy, the only remaining emotion was the depressed view of herself. Deep down she had known. She would never be good enough for him. She was the one men mostly toyed around within an attempt to see if they can tame the Starfleet brat. Women like her were intriguing because of their power, it made men curious, but curiosity can only last so long. Only two men had stuck around for the long haul and she’d lost them both. She truly thought that Chakotay would be it, that he would be the one she would grow old with, the one she would love with her whole heart until her last dying breath. That last part she knew would be true regardless. No matter how foolish it was, she could never stop loving him. That was why this hurt so much. 

“There you are. I thought you were going to the bathroom or to get another drink. What are you doing out here? Everyone’s asking for you.” he walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. 

She couldn't stop herself from crying and a sniffle escaped her, alerting him. 

“Kathryn?” the look on his face conveyed just how clueless he was. The fact that he wasn’t even aware of how much he was hurting her brought back the anger that she had suppressed. 

“Just leave, Chakotay,” she barked. 

“Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?” he asked gently. 

His beautiful voice, so calm, slightly worried, nearly broke her. 

She spat out her words without a second thought. 

“Tell me Chakotay, when you fuck me do you think of that twitty little thing? Because that would not be good,” her eyes were sharp like daggers, but as her words seemed to wound him enough, she tore her eyes away from him and went to leave. 

“What the hell kind of question is that Kathryn?”

“When we make love do you think about Seven? When you hold me do you wish it was her? Do you look at her and then at me...and realize that you’ve downgraded?” her tears flowed freely, she couldn’t even look him in the eyes. 

He walked over to her and she felt his hand raise her chin to force their eyes to meet. 

“Do  _ you _ realize how crazy you sound right now?” he spoke softly. 

“Kathryn, I did not downgrade when I started this relationship, I upgraded. You and I are connected in ways that I could never connect with anyone else, especially Seven. The way we talk and share our lives, the way you make my heart feel like it’s about to burst every time you walk into a room. And dammit, Kathryn Janeway you are the sexiest most insanely beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and you are also the most infuriating. I love you more than life itself. Why can’t you see that? Why is it so hard for you to believe me?” 

“You couldn't keep your eyes off of her the whole night,” she whispered sadly. 

He huffed in annoyance and grasped her by the shoulders. 

“Watch,” he told her as he pointed in the direction of Seven. They both waited and a few moments later Harry Kim approached Seven to ask her for a dance. 

“Harry asked me a few days ago if I would be hurt if he tried to pursue Seven romantically. I told him I didn’t mind at all. He told me he would try and ask her to dance tonight and then, later on, ask her on a date. I was watching all night to see if he would ever gain the courage, and if not I was going to have to talk to him and boost his confidence. I wasn’t looking in Seven’s direction for any other reason I can assure you,”

She brought her hand to her mouth and closed her eyes. Shaking her head she released a pitiful sigh. 

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t have more faith in you Chakotay, I love you so much. I’m mortified I even…” She turned around to face him and was met with him kneeling on the ground in front of her. 

“What are you doing?” she asked, laughing through her tears. 

“I told you….we needed to come tonight because I had some surprises planned,” he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. As he pulled back the top she gasped. It was a blue stone that sat in a golden setting. 

“I found these gems on New Earth, they matched your eyes so… I took a few back with us. I knew even then that I wanted to marry you, I have known that fact for eight long years. I’m so sorry I hurt you when I stupidly thought I could move on, but no matter how hard I tried it was always you. It will always be you. Kathryn Janeway, would you do me the greatest honor and become my wife?” 

She knelt down to his level and kissed him. 

As she pulled apart he chuckled and said: “I’ll take that as a yes?”

She laughed. 

“Yes!” she held out her hand and he slipped the ring on. 

When they walked back into the party they had a whole new reason to celebrate. 

  
  



	2. If I had a dick I'd be all over you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is by far the strangest thing I've written....you are very welcome.

“Excuse me, ladies! I’d like to make a...whoa...dizzy...I’d like to make a toast. If everyone would please raise their phallic-shaped glassware in honor of the bride to be, Kathryn Janeway, my former captain, my current best friend, and the woman who, I am not ashamed to say, made me question my own sexuality a few times. I am honored to be your maid of...honor, haha, and you and Chakotay will make a really beautiful married couple and you’ll have some really chubby adorable babies. May you be happy as humanly possible and may your sex life be better than mine!” B’elanna raised her ‘glass’ and the rest of the party followed. She stumbled through the crowd, back to her seat next to Kathryn who was still laughing. 

“What's wrong with your sex life?” she asked. 

“Oh nothing, I just don’t have one anymore!” B’Elanna chugged the rest of her drink. 

Kathryn laughed in shock. 

“I always thought you and Tom went at it like rabbits, especially with the way Voyager talked about the two of you,” she said.

B’Elanna shook her head. 

“We used to, but now it’s always ‘Oh B’Elanna I’m so tired!’ Or ‘Oh B’Elanna I’m not in the mood!’ Well, I am a woman!” she shouted.

“Yes, you are!” Janeway shouted back, taking another sip. 

“And I have needs!” B’Elanna yelled.

“Yes, you do!” Janeway agreed. 

She huffed and looked down at her drink. 

“Maybe I’m just not appealing,” B’Elanna shifted in seconds from empowered to self-pitying. 

Kathryn tugged at her arm.

“No...No fucking way. You’re, you are so beautiful. So beautiful and if he can’t see that he is an asshole! I swear If I had a dick I would be all over you. twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and seventy-five days a year...wait thats not right...seventy...six….I’d be fucking you all the time,” She said, her speech slurred. 

“That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I love you so much,” she began to cry in ugly gulps. 

“I love you too!” Kathryn sobbed. 

Phoebe walked around replacing everyone’s booze with water. 

“Why in God’s name did I volunteer to be the sober one tonight?” she muttered to herself. 

She walked over to her sister and B’Elanna, both still crying and hugging one another. 

“Alright break it up you two!” she shouted. 

“Let’s get everyone to bed ok?” Phoebe talked to the women like children. 

“But Phoebe!” Kathryn protested. 

“No buts! You have to get up early tomorrow and make it to your wedding! And you, miss Klingon warrior, need to get yourself together, you have a lot to handle tomorrow being the maid of honor and all,” Phoebe grabbed them both by the arms and directed them to their rooms. 

“No funny business, that goes for the both of you!” 

“Whatever...mom!” Kathryn rolled her eyes and then giggled as she hopped into bed. 

“That is the last time I let you mix your alcohol Kathryn!” she yelled back.

“You never let me have any fun!” Kathryn pouted. 

“Goodnight! Kathryn,”

“Night buzzkill,” she muttered. 

“What was that?” Phoebe crossed her arms. 

“Night butthead,” Kathryn whispered softly, looking to the other side of the room. 

“I’m sorry, I didn't hear that one either,” 

“I said goodnight!” 

“Mmmmhmmm. That’s what I thought!”

She shut the door and went to walk to her own room when she heard a soft voice call out. 

“You forgot to say goodnight to me!”

She huffed and rolled her eyes before responding. 

“Goodnight, B’Elanna!” 

  
“Goodnight!”


	3. Don't make me come over there and sit on your head!

She finished applying a thin layer of makeup. She didn’t feel the need to overdo it because she knew it would only be smeared and sweated off during the night's activities. The simple thought sent a rush of arousal through her. She combed her hair with her fingers and gave herself one last look in the mirror. 

Peering down to her hands, her eyes caught the glimmer of the two rings on her finger. She sighed and her eyes softened. Married. She was married. She had a husband. Just thinking about that fact, being able to say it out loud, made her giddy. 

Everything had gone without a hitch. Well, after she was given the hypo for her massive migraine that morning. Her bachelorette party had been a bit of a blur, but she knew it was a fun time from the pictures of her and her closest friends laughing and dancing. She thanked God that no news outlets had gotten a hold of those photos. She could only imagine the headlines. 

Closing her eyes she thought about the moment she had walked down the aisle, seeing his brown eyes staring back with enough love to fill her heart for a lifetime. His vows were poetic and beautiful and hers were from straight from her heart. They promised to love and cherish one another in life and beyond, they promised to hold each other up until their arms gave out, to walk alongside one another until their legs could no longer keep up. There hadn’t been a dry eye in the house by the time Owen Paris said: “You may now kiss the bride!”.

Opening her eyes, she exited the bathroom but Chakotay was nowhere to be found. She sighed and waited a few moments for him, looking out at the orange glow of the sunset over the soothing waves crashing on the shore. 

Smoothing the lines of her short nightie, a devilish grin grew on her lips. She couldn’t wait to see the look on Chakotay’s face when he would see her in this, even more so, she couldn’t wait to see how fast he could get her out of it. It was a sheer black material, and only a thin pair of matching panties were underneath. She felt sexy, desirable, and it would all go to waste if her new husband didn’t come to bed soon. 

Losing what little patience she had left, she walked out into the living room area of their suite. There he was at the comm, typing away like a mad man. A few months ago he’d been approached by a major publishing company to write a book. An epic tale of his leaving Starfleet, joining the Maquis, only to rejoin Starfleet after being flung seventy thousand years from home. A ruggedly handsome and relatable hero who cleared his name and got back into Starfleet’s good graces. Everyone knew the book was bound to be a success. His editor especially wanted to play the angle that not only did he work alongside Starfleet, but he fell in love with its golden girl. He was told to increase the romance because “sex sells” but it was pretty hard to do that considering the two of them led relatively celibate lives for quite some time out there. 

Tonight she felt like making up for all that time wasted if only he would look up from the screen to pay some attention to his almost naked wife. 

“Chakotay, why don’t you come to bed?” she called. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll be right there, I just have to go over a few changes so I can forward this to my editor,” his eyes never looked away from his work. 

She huffed and put her hands on her hips. 

“This is our honeymoon, are you really going to spend it working? For god’s sake, I feel like the roles are reversed. Normally I’m the workaholic, but even I managed to leave all my work in my office where it belongs!” 

He was mouthing the words he read on the screen and only muttered an “uh-huh,” to make it sound like he’d been listening. 

“I’m standing here naked in front of you and you won’t even look at me!” 

“Uh-huh I hear you, honey,” he said absent-mindedly. 

“Maybe I’ll go see if that bellboy is around, I bet he would pay more attention to me,” She waited in anticipation of his laughter or even shock at her remark, but nothing. 

“Mhmm, one-minute honey, my editor really needs it tonight,” he mumbled. 

“I need it tonight too, real bad!” she shouted. 

She knew he’d heard that one from the slight smirk that played on his lips, but it still wasn’t enough to grab his attention fully. 

“Why don’t you go back into the bedroom I'll be there in just a minute,” he said. 

“I’m not leaving this room until you agree to put your work away and come with me.” 

He sat there unresponsive, his eyes still scanning his writing. 

“Chakotay, don’t make me come over there and sit on your head!” 

At that, his ears perked up and his eyes finally peeled themselves from the screen. He was about to laugh but when his gaze finally settled on her in that outfit, he nearly gasped.

“You know what, I think the chapter is fine as it is,” he hit the send button and jumped up from his desk. His feet moved at a record pace until he finally lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. 

She shrieked and laughed as he tossed her on top of the pillows and covered her lips with his own. 

“I’m glad I finally got your attention,” she whispered, unbuttoning his shirt with hurried hands. 

“So am I,” he said breathlessly. 


	4. Now eat your berries, you're gonna need em' baby!

“Chakotay! I’m home!” she tore off her jacket and boots and walked up the steps to their bedroom.

“Shit,” she muttered to herself. 

Chakotay was down to his boxers. The room was lit with candles and everything was romantic and perfect, except for the fact that he was dead asleep. She felt so guilty seeing the effort he put into making this night special, but yet again, work got in the way. 

“Chakotay, wake up honey!” she whispered, kissing all over his face. 

He groaned. 

“You’re home,” he said with half-opened eyes and a lazy smile.

“Yes, I’m so sorry. I got held up in a meeting and I couldn’t get out of it,” she kissed his lips while shimmying out of her socks and pants. 

“Why don’t we just call it a night. I’m exhausted, you’re probably tired too,” he sighed, sliding over in the bed to make more room for her. 

“No, no way! I’m ovulating, and this baby isn’t going to make itself!”

She glanced down to the nightstand and noticed a bowl of strawberries and two glasses of champagne. She downed her glass in a few gulps and then handed him the bowl. 

“Now eat your berries, you’re gonna need em' baby!” She whipped off her shirt and let down her hair. 

He popped a strawberry in his mouth and said: “I really am wiped out, you sure we can’t just do it in the morning?”

“I’m positive! Besides I have to leave early tomorrow for another mind-numbing meeting, and we can’t miss this window again, we missed it last month!” 

At his second sigh, she put her hands on her hips and looked down at him. 

“Do you not want this?” She didn’t specify whether it was the baby or her he didn’t want but at that moment she wasn’t sure which to ask about. 

He ate another berry and then set the bowl down. 

“Of course I want this. I always want you, and I would love nothing more than to create a child with you...I really am just tired I promise. But I think I can manage to gather enough energy for one round,” he moved to sit at the edge of the bed, bending down a bit to kiss her bare stomach and letting his hands drift upwards to unhook her bra. 

“Just one round?” she pouted innocently as her bra dropped to the floor. 

He laughed and hauled her over himself onto the bed. She was under him in a matter of seconds. 

“I might have more for you...if you’re lucky,” he muttered, using one hand to hold her arms above her head, while the other hand followed the trail his lips were leaving. Goosebumps formed along her delicate skin. She threw her head back in anticipation as he used both hands to slide her panties down. 

She shuttered and moaned. 

“I think I’m feeling pretty lucky tonight,” she whispered. 

  
  



	5. I need full circulation

“So...what did you think?” B’Elanna asked. 

“It was a pretty good read, but I don’t know, some of it seemed a little far fetched,” Kathryn replied. 

“Almost every romantic book or movie is a little far fetched. That’s what makes it romantic!” 

Both women were laughing as the waiter brought their food. They thanked the young man and went back to their conversation. 

“I mean honestly B’Elanna...the woman’s big seduction line was ‘I need full circulation’? Is that really supposed to work?” She laughed, but B’Elanna just smirked. 

“You’re not serious,” Kathryn covered her mouth to stifle her surprised laughter. 

“Hey, after that long dry spell Tom and I had, I was willing to give anything a try to break out of it. I dropped Miral off with her grandparents, sat on the kitchen table in my underwear and asked him to give me ‘full circulation’. Ever since that night, my circulation has been  **very** full,” she winked. 

“B’Elanna!” Kathryn tried her best to keep her voice down but the shock from her last comment made her hysterical.

“What? I was desperate, and it actually worked! This Alma Lane knows how to write romance!” 

“I cannot believe Tom went for it,” Kathryn shook her head and started to dig into her meal. 

“Yeah, well it worked a little too well,” B’Elanna said sarcastically. 

She looked at her quizzically.

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

“I’m pregnant!”

Kathryn’s jaw dropped for a moment, as did her heart. She immediately thought about how for the last six months, two weeks, three days, and twelve hours, that phrase was one she wanted to be able to say more than anything in the world. But after all this time trying, nothing was working. She quickly hid her personal disappointment and put on a mask of happiness.

“Oh B’Elanna that’s...that’s wonderful!” she said, covering her friend's hand with her own. 

“Are you ok? As soon as I said I was pregnant you looked a little...sad.”

“No, I’m happy for you really!” she tried her best to keep her walls up and in place, but B’Elanna had gotten rather good at spotting the cracks. 

“Then what is it?” she asked, with genuine concern. 

Kathryn huffed and looked down, holding back the tears she knew were coming. 

“Chakotay and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few months...ever since the honeymoon really. It hasn’t been going well. I’m not sure I want to go through all the medical procedures to have a baby, and I never thought that it would be this hard conceiving naturally. On top of facing the fact that kids might not be a part of my future, I really hate to say it, but I think sex has become a bit of a chore. I mean I plan all the nights we have sex around when I’m most fertile. Our positions are ones that are designed to increase our chances of conceiving. All this meticulous planning ...I don’t know, I feel like the spark is dying. We still love each other and we’re still attracted to each other but our sex life is suffering from all this baby stuff.” 

“I’m so sorry that you’re having a hard time with it. But maybe all you need is a little spontaneity. Surprise him. Go out and buy something to wear that makes you feel good, come home and maybe try something new!” 

“You mean like asking him for….'Full circulation’?” she chuckled and rolled her eyes. 

“That’s exactly what I mean! For one night, don’t focus on making a baby or what position might increase your chances...focus on each other.”

“That’s actually very good advice, thank you.” 

“Anytime,” she said.

“Now! We need to talk more about this new baby of yours. Are you hoping for a boy or another girl? Have any names picked out? And is anyone throwing you a baby shower, because I would very much like to volunteer.” 

“I’m hoping for a boy, but Tom wants another girl. No names picked out yet but we have a few ideas. And Kathryn we have all the baby stuff we need, I don’t need another baby shower!”

“Then it won’t be a shower, it’ll be a sprinkle! Either way, we need to celebrate!” 

Kathryn went to take a sip of her drink when B’Elanna took her hand. 

“I really am sorry that it’s taking so long, but it’ll happen, Kathryn. Don’t give up hope. You and Chakotay are going to be incredible parents. ”

“Thank you, B’Elanna. I really needed to hear that,” she smiled as a tear managed to slip down her cheek. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut is coming...


	6. You gotta strip...please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break between this chapter and last chapter....I got distracted.

“Eight months?” she tried her hardest to conceal her disappointment. 

He laid his hand over hers in an act of comfort, but it was a bitter reminder that for eight months she wouldn’t be able to do something so simple as to touch him. 

“I know it’s a long time to be apart, but it isn’t set in stone. They might ask someone else to go.” He replied.

Kathryn did her best to keep herself from crying, but she couldn’t help it. She quickly wiped the tears away.

“But you want to take this mission,” she avoided his eyes for a moment to gain composure. 

“Hey,” he said, gently turning her face to look back at him. 

She focused on the sensation of his thumb gently rubbing her cheek, leaning into his palm. She couldn’t understand this strange feeling, missing him already, before either of them knew if he’d even be gone. 

“Kathryn, if you don’t want me to take it, just say the word,” he pecked her lips and then took her in his arms. 

She nuzzled into his embrace for a few moments before pulling back. She held in her sadness, rid herself of the tears, and put on a brave face with a slightly forced smile. 

“No, no, you have to take it if it’s offered to you. I would never ask you to refuse such an incredible opportunity. Exploring not only space, but also ancient colonies… that’s your passion!”

He paused and took her hand in his, his thumb gliding over her wedding band. 

“Kathryn, you are my passion. Trying to make a family with you here, that’s my true passion.” 

She couldn’t stop herself from kissing him, feeling so lucky to have someone so devoted and caring. 

“I love you… but don’t be ridiculous, if they want you on this mission you should go. We went into this relationship knowing that a mission like this might come up. I will support you no matter what your decision is, but don’t turn it down for me.” 

She stoodand walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He followed and as she was pouring the glass he slid his hands around her waist and rested them on her hips. 

“Let’s not think about it too much right now. We can fully discuss whether or not I should go on the mission if it even gets offered to me. Besides, maybe by the time I get an offer, I might have to decline to take care of my pregnant wife,”

He kissed her neck. 

“I’m not pregnant!” she laughed and turned to face him. 

“Not yet!” he smiled. 

She stilled, her smile falling for a moment.

“How do you do it?” she asked. 

“Do what?”

“Hope. How do you hold onto it, and why is it so god damn infectious?”

He kissed her forehead and brought her closer for an embrace. 

“For seven years I’d hoped to be given the chance to love you. Giving up on that dream, even for such a short time, was the most foolish thing I’d ever done. Our child is waiting for us, I know it. He or she is just too stubborn to exist until they’re ready. They probably get it from their mother. But I can’t give up on that dream; I’d never forgive myself if I did.”

He wiped away a stray tear that fell down her cheek.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Their lips met in a passionate kiss, and soon hands were traveling and buttons were undone.

“Why don’t we head to bed?” he said suggestively, nibbling on her ear and eliciting a gasp. 

“Something tells me you’re rather eager to go to bed… but not to sleep.”

“Well, who knows how much time we’ll get if I go on this mission. I need to have you as many times as possible.” 

“Are you trying to make me cry, or turn me on? No more talk about you leaving me, you’re staying right here and we’re going to lie in bed for several hours focused on nothing but each other, but first, you gotta strip… please!” 

He placed an arm behind her knees and one around her back, picking her up and carrying her up the steps.

“Was that an order, admiral?” his voice took on a deeper tone, sending a surge of arousal through her immediately. 

“I can make it one if necessary… Captain,” she smirked.

  
  



	7. Did you take a pill?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep adding chapters lol! I thought I'd be done this story by now but I came up with an actual direction to take this plot so...more chapters!

“Oh, fuck,” she cried out, gripping the sheets until her knuckles turned white. 

“Spirits, you’re so beautiful,” he panted, busying his lips as he laid kisses on the soft skin of her neck.

He thrust forward and she arched her back, rolling her hips to meet him. Their lips came together frantically. 

“I love you so much.” she was breathless, focused solely on the pleasure building within her. 

“I’m going to miss this,” he whispered so low she almost hadn’t heard. 

She paused, and suddenly her climax had dissipated. He sensed her hesitation and he too stopped his motions, looking at her with confusion. 

“Miss this?” she repeated. 

He huffed a defeated sigh. 

“Could we maybe wait to have this discussion?” he begged. 

Her jaw clenched and she pushed him away, flinching at how fast their bodies lost connection. 

“Kathryn!” he shouted in shock. 

“You took the mission.” it was less of a question and more of an accusation. 

He stood up and readjusted, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Yes, I took it.” his hand drifted up to tug on his earlobe. 

“When was I going to find out?” her anger was poorly concealed in the tone of her voice. 

“I was trying to find the right time to tell you,” he said guiltily. 

“And in the middle of sex, that was the right time?”

“I’m so sorry, it just came out. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.” 

She lifted the bed sheet to cover her bare breasts. 

“So that's it then, you’re just going to leave?” her voice was bitter. 

“You told me that’s what you wanted! You said that if they offered me the mission that I should take it! Well, they offered it to me, and I took it! Why are you getting so upset?”

“Because that was before!” she yelled.

“Before what?”

_ Before I knew I was pregnant.  _ She thought. 

She understood that the moment those words were said out loud he would drop everything. She could keep him here, all she had to do was tell him. 

“Before you and I being separated became so...real,” she said wistfully. 

No, telling him would be the selfish thing to do. He was so excited about this assignment. She’d caught him reading up on archeology, going over the mission objectives, rereading old information. He’d been smiling more often, showing more enthusiasm about almost everything. She couldn’t take this away from him.

All of these confusing emotions and conflicting paths were swirling in her head, overwhelming her to the point of tears. 

“Hey,” he said gently, cupping her face and bringing it close to his for a gentle kiss. 

She pulled away and took notice of his still naked form.

“What, did you take a pill or something?” she laughed. 

“What?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I pushed you off me, we argued, I’m crying, and this entire time you weren’t even discouraged!”

He laughed and rolled her on her back, pinning her against the mattress. 

“My insanely gorgeous wife is naked in front of me, how else is my body supposed to react?”

She smiled brightly but a question that needed an answer quickly replaced her expression of happiness with one of heartbreak. 

“When do you leave?” she asked hesitantly. 

“In a few days,” he replied 

She chose not to fully process that fact and instead, lifted her head and kissed him roughly, pulling away with more tears streaming down her face. 

“I’m going to miss this too. I’m going to miss you,” even whispering, her voice still broke. 

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” he replied, kissing her salty tears away. 

That night they took their time, exploring each other's bodies, memorizing every line, every freckle, every imperfection that perfectly combined to form them. Their bodies moved together, bringing both over the edge in a passionate explosion of ecstasy and bliss. When the aftershocks had ceased, she turned to face away from him, his arm draping over her hips. In the silence and stillness of the night, her mind was allowed to wander. 

Five weeks. Their child was the size of an apple seed. Chakotay would be gone for everything: listening to the heartbeat for the first time, watching her stomach grow, feeling the baby’s first kick. She would go through all of this alone. Panic ripped through her as she realized he would most likely not be there for the birth either. Although she considered herself a woman of science, she said a quick and silent prayer to whoever was listening at that moment. She prayed for his mission to end early, or to be canceled, or for him to change his mind on his own. She refused to be the reason he gave this up, and so it was decided. For now, their little apple seed would have to remain a secret. 

Her hand drifted to her stomach. 

“I love you,” she whispered, both to the sleeping man behind her and the little miracle residing in her womb. 

  
  



	8. I'm prettier than I look!

Wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. Kathryn kept to her daily routine, and as long as she did she could convince herself that she was fine. As long as her mind stayed focused she wouldn’t think about how she was waking up alone, coming home to an empty house, and fading into a restless night's sleep without the warmth of his body wrapped around her. She missed him so much and it had only been a week. Tonight would be their first comm call. Twenty minutes would have to hold her over for another week until she could hear his voice again. 

She decided tonight that she had to tell him about the baby. Following the news, she would try her hardest to convince him to continue with the mission. Part of her hoped he would insist on coming home, she selfishly wanted him here. The other part of her wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, and exploring and working on this mission so obviously brought him joy. This debate ran rampant in her head while she was getting dressed and ready. 

She wore her long hair loose and natural and put on a bit of makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes. Right as she was finishing her lipstick she heard the ringing. 

Her hand shook out of nervous excitement as she pressed the button to answer him. 

“Kathryn,” she closed her eyes for a moment to savor it, the way he says her name. No one else calls her Kathryn, or at least no one makes her knees so weak when they do. 

“Hi,” she said, unsure of what exactly to say at all. 

“I miss you,” they both spoke the same sentence at the same time causing them to laugh. 

They immediately relaxed. She told him about work, not mentioning her lack of sleep or the sad and painful ache in her heart. She didn’t want him to worry. 

He spoke of his mission, barely able to conceal the excitement in his eyes or the enthusiasm in his tone of voice. He was truly happy. 

She debated about when to tell him her news, but before she got the chance, his smile fell ever so slightly and he looked at her with a soft but serious expression. 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he said. 

“What is it?”

“I...uhh. The ship won’t be in communications range for a while.”

“How long is ‘a while’?” she asked, afraid of what the answer would be. 

“I’m not sure. It could be a month, could be two or three. I’ll do my best to get back in range as quickly as possible.”

She tried not to show her disappointment but could feel the tears burning in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Kathryn. Listen, I’m not sure how much more time we’ll have on this call, but I wanted to tell you how much I love you and how badly I miss you. You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last image in my head as I go to sleep. I cannot wait until you’re back in my arms.”

“I love you too,” she cursed to herself as her voice cracked and a tear managed to slip past her defenses. 

“But I...I have to tell you something too,” she took a deep breath. This was it. 

“What is it?” Chakotay’s eyes took on a hint of concern at her nervousness. 

“Chakotay I’m--” Just as she was about to finish the screen cut off and returned to the Starfleet symbol. 

“Pregnant,” she muttered to herself. 

* * *

Over the next few weeks, she continued to busy herself with work, ignoring the worried calls from B’Elanna and Phoebe who continually asked her to lunch or dinner. She turned them down claiming that she was too busy. She wasn’t actually busy so much as she was exhausted and constantly nauseous. 

At the end of month one, she began to fixate her eyes on the console that never rang. She waited for that call every day, one telling her that he was back in range and that she could hear his voice again, hear him telling her how much he loved her. By the time month two rolled around she grew more depressed. She could feel her stomach growing, a small but noticeable bump reminding her that she couldn’t share this development with her husband. She chose to share it with no one, wearing larger sized uniforms to work and oversized sweaters at home. It was almost as if she was hiding her pregnancy from herself, she didn’t want to think about it quite yet, but ignoring it was getting harder and harder as the days went on. 

One evening after coming home and attempting to relax with a nice book, she was interrupted by a loud banging on the front door. 

She barely had it open a second before Phoebe pushed it all the way open and walked past her talking loud and waving her arms. 

“Alright what the hell is wrong with you?” Phoebe shouted. 

“Nothing is wrong.” she huffed, rolling her eyes. 

“Twenty-three times. I’ve called you twenty-three times over the past two months and every time you come up with some bullshit excuse. B’Elanna tried over a dozen times as well. You’re isolating yourself, Kathryn. It isn’t healthy. I remember how you did the same thing after Justin died.”

“Chakotay isn’t dead.” Kathryn snapped. 

“No but he’s not here and you can’t just stop living because he isn’t around. The house is a mess, you aren’t talking to anyone or going places outside of work. Now, I’m not leaving until we clean this place up and you agree to join me for dinner. For once in his life, my husband decided to give me the night off and take the kids, and so help me God if you ruin this for me I will make you babysit those devils every night for a week.”

Kathryn tried to keep her expression serious but the death glare contest soon became a try not to laugh competition in which they both lost. 

“Alright fine. You win!” she shouted, holding her hands up. 

Phoebe walked behind Kathryn, placed both hands on her shoulders and started pushing her up the steps towards the bathroom. 

“Good, now first things first; you need to take a shower, to put it lightly...you look like shit.” 

“I’m prettier than I look, I swear,” Kathryn laughed.

Phoebe reached down and turned the shower on. 

“I’m sure you are, but under all this filth I can’t tell.”

“Is it really that bad?” she combed her hand through her hair, trying to remember the last time she’d washed it. 

Phoebe put her hands on her hips and raised her brow in the familiar Janeway fashion. 

“You know what? Don’t answer that,” Kathryn shook her head. 

They both chuckled. 

“I’ll get started on some cleaning and pick out something for you to wear out to dinner that doesn’t look like it’s wearing you.”

“Phoebe that’s not necessary.”

“Yes, it is. I know that you’re my big sister and that led to you always taking care of everyone else around you. The one person you let take care of you isn’t here right now, and even though it’s not forever, it’s still tough. Let me take care of you, even if it’s as simple as helping you clean and pushing you out into the world against your will.”

Kathryn smiled at her sister for a second before wrapping her arms around her. 

“Ok, not saying that I don’t want to hug you, but could we save lingering embraces for after you shower?”

She laughed heartily and kicked her little sister out of the bathroom. 

Before undressing, she took a moment in front of the mirror, lifted her sweater, and turned to the side to examine her bump. 

“She’s right you know. I was sad because I thought I was alone, but I always had you with me, little one. We’ll get through this,” she whispered. 

Her smile was beaming as she brought both hands to her stomach to caress to life that rested inside. 

“Kathryn is that pile of clothes in your bedroom dirty or--” Phoebe burst through the door and froze, her eyes immediately widening at the sight of her sister holding her pregnant belly. 

“Holy shit,” Phoebe muttered. 

“I’m thinner than I look too,” Kathryn joked with a guilty smile. 


	9. I am not decrepit, and I’m not that old!

“Phoebe, wait!” she bolted after her younger sister, who had run from the bathroom as if it were on fire. 

When Kathryn reached the bottom of the stairs, completely out of breath, she watched her sister pace the living room with her hands on her hips. 

“You’re pregnant?” her voice was harsh. 

“I am,” Kathryn replied. 

“When was I going to find out?” Phoebe stopped her pacing and faced her.

“I don’t know.” 

She fell silent. She waited for her to start yelling or storm out, but there was only quiet. 

Phoebe’s eyes softened, and a devious smirk played on her lips. 

“Pregnant, good Lord. You realize mom is going to go nuts over this, right? I mean, she was overbearing during both of my pregnancies, but now that the ‘favorite’ is giving her a grandbaby, you’d better watch out!” 

Kathryn let go of the breath she had been holding and joined in on the joking banter. 

“Oh, please, I’m not her favorite!”

“Yes you are! You were Daddy’s favorite too. That’s ok, while they were distracted praising you, I got to have a lot more fun.”

“Yes I know all about the fun you had.” Kathryn chuckled, rolling her eyes. 

Kathryn walked over to the couch and sat down, Phoebe followed. 

“You’re not mad?” Kathryn asked. 

“Mad? No. Shocked? Yes. I mean, I thought your decrepit, old body would sooner collapse than carry a baby, but I suppose stranger things have happened.”

Her jaw dropped in shock. Phoebe leapt off the couch, laughing and running away as Kathryn raised a pillow in a wordless threat to throw it at her.

“I am not decrepit, and I’m not that old! “ 

“Oh, please, that poor kid is probably choking on cobwebs in there!” she shouted from the kitchen. 

“And you wonder why I’m the favorite; you’re always so rude,” she joked, making her way to where Phoebe was standing. 

“Ah-ha! So you admit it!” Phoebe exclaimed.

Kathryn let out a small chuckle and shook her head as she turned to get a glass of water. Without warning, Phoebe launched at her and wrapped her arms around her so tight that Kathryn struggled to breathe. Thankfully, she had placed her water on the counter before the hug, or else it would have soaked them both. 

“I’m so happy for you,” Phoebe whispered.

“Thank you...that means a lot.” 

They separated and looked into one another’s eyes. At that moment, it looked as if Phoebe might shed a tear, but she quickly shook it off and started the conversation back up. 

“So, what was Chakotay’s reaction?” She said with a curious smile. 

Kathryn’s smile dropped, and she averted her eyes. Her heart began to sink as the weight of her own guilt was doubled by the judgement of her sister. 

“Oh, Kathryn, you can’t be serious! He doesn’t know?”

“I tried to tell him! Honestly, I did, but our last conversation was cut short when he went out of communications range.”

“Well did you know about the pregnancy before he left for the mission?” Phoebe asked. 

Kathryn’s silence was all the answer she needed. 

“Hell, I’m not sure what to plan first, the baby shower or your funeral. Chakotay is going to be pissed when he finds out you’ve been hiding this from him.”

“You don’t understand. He would have given up the mission.” 

“And that would have been his choice!” Phoebe countered.

“You should’ve seen him, Phoebe. He was so happy, excited about exploring again.”

“And you don’t think he would be equally excited to know he’s going to be a father? I haven’t known him quite as long as you, but even I can guess that nothing would outweigh his excitement over the baby.”

Kathryn paused.

“I know. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do,”

“So, this means I’m the first and only person to know?” 

“You and the doctor, no one else.”

“Ok, but you have to let me tell B’Elanna,” Phoebe begged. 

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh pretty please! She keeps rubbing everything in my face! She was your maid of honor, you always confide in her for everything. I’m your flesh and blood, and I’m still losing the ‘Kathryn loves me more competition.’ Just let me have this one thing, please? I’ll be so kind to you, and I’ll never point out how old you are ever again!”

“No one else can know! Not until Chakotay comes back in communications range and I can tell him myself. If you tell B’Elanna now, then Tom will know five seconds after, then Harry will know, and soon all of Voyager’s former crew will know.”

“Well I hope he’s back in range soon because those sweaters won’t hide you for much longer.”

“I’m only fourteen weeks along!”

“And with your figure, you’ve already popped! I’d say you’ve got about six weeks maximum before people really notice.” 

“Hopefully, by then, I’ll have already told Chakotay.” 

“Alright head upstairs and shower. I guess my plan of getting you drunk to cheer you up is no longer an option but the dinner part is still happening. Let’s go! I want you ready in twenty minutes admiral!” Phoebe said in a mockingly stern tone. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes with a huff and went upstairs. 

* * *

Another month passed without a call from Chakotay. Kathryn did her best to remain positive and not to worry. During their last talk, he mentioned it might take up to three months to be back in range. Two more weeks went by, and suddenly her thoughts would focus on him. What if something went wrong? She thought.

Just as her mind was drifting into places she’d rather not let it, the console beeped. She immediately leaped up and ran to it. 

She tried hard to conceal her disappointment when Phoebe’s face popped on the screen. 

“Hi,”

“Hey. I just wanted to check and see if you’re still going to Tom’s birthday party tonight.” 

“Of course I’m going I RSVP’d months ago, but I won’t be staying long. I’ve been so exhausted lately.” 

“You’re growing a tiny human; it’s not surprising that you’re a little worn out.” 

“That’s true. Anyway, I’ll see you tonight. I should go find some clothes that fit.” 

“See ya!” Phoebe replied. 

She spent the rest of the day in bed or running to the bathroom. Her morning sickness had not gone away as the Doctor said it would. In fact, it grew even worse within the last week. She came close to calling B’Elanna and telling her she couldn’t make it, but after a few more crackers and some tea, she felt well enough to make an appearance. 

She wore a pair of dress pants with a very loose top and a pair of flats since her feet were too swollen for heels.

As she approached the front door of the Paris household, a bit of panic settled within her. She thought about how she might accidentally let her secret slip. For a moment she considered turning around and going home, but she instead took a deep breath and reached for the doorbell.

Before her hand even pushed it, the door swung open, revealing a very pregnant B’Elanna. 

“I saw you walking up the path. I’m so glad you made it!” She said, gesturing for Kathryn to enter. 

“I’ve missed you,” Kathryn said, wrapping her arms around her friend for a light hug. 

“I’ve missed you too. Everyone has. Everyone else is in the living room, but there’s a ton of food in the kitchen, help yourself. I have to go use the bathroom before this kid kicks my bladder again.” 

The two women chuckled as they parted ways. She wished for a moment that B’Elanna knew. She could ask her all of the pregnancy-related questions that keep her up at night, and they could complain together about swollen ankles and hurting backs. 

Kathryn turned towards the kitchen, smiling brightly as her eyes found those of Tom Paris. 

“Happy birthday!” she said, walking up to him. 

He laughed and opened his arms for a hug, which she accepted, keeping distance between her stomach and his. 

“Well, I guess I lost that bet,” he said jokingly. 

“What bet?” she concealed a bit of panic at the thought that he might know about the baby. 

“I didn’t think you were going to come,” he said.

She released a breath of relief. 

“Of course, I came! I told you months ago that I would.”

“That’s what B’Elanna said too. I just haven’t seen you in a while, so I assumed… I’m really glad you’re here.” 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. It’s hard—“she hesitated. 

“I know it’s ridiculous, but part of me wanted to pause my life until Chakotay comes home. It took your wife and my sister to shake me out of that mindset.” 

“I understand. I really am happy to see you. I should go bring some drinks out to Harry and Seven. I think Phoebe managed to trap them into a conversation about sex and the borg collective.” 

“Oh, great. Go, save those poor innocents!” 

He laughed but turned around with a genuine, caring look in his blue eyes. 

“If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here.” 

“Thank you,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

He nodded and walked into the living room. 

Looking around at the empty kitchen, she listened to the laughter and conversations happening in other rooms but felt no desire to join in. Instead, she decided to try and eat something, and calculate when a good time to go home would be to not come off as rude. 

She reached for some food when a wave of dizziness struck her out of nowhere. Her eyes clamped shut. Both hands gripped the countertop as she waited for it to pass, but it wouldn’t. She did her best to remain calm, but as she opened her eyes, her vision was blurred, and spots danced around in the light. 

Phoebe, finally bored with making a borg blush, walked into the kitchen to get another glass of wine when she saw her sister on the verge of collapse. 

“Kathryn! Are you ok?” she asked, careful not to raise her voice too much. 

She shook her head and grabbed onto Phoebe’s arm for support. She led her to the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for her.

“Here, sit down. I’ll go find the Doctor.” 

Phoebe tried to remain discreet and not to draw any attention to the situation, but some people took notice of her worried expression and almost sprinting pace. 

She smiled politely and apologized for interrupting the Doctor’s conversation. Before he could ask any questions, she leaned in and whispered: “Kathryn needs help.”

He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. Now with the Doctor behind her, Tom and B’Elanna instantly knew something was wrong. They quietly went to find out what was going on. 

“Can you describe your symptoms to me?” The Doctor asked, crouched to Kathryn’s level. He held her wrist in his hand, taking her pulse.

“What’s going on here?” Tom asked. 

Phoebe quieted him as Kathryn tried to tell the Doctor what was wrong. 

“Dizzy.” She mumbled. 

After a moment to breathe, she whispered: “Can’t see.”

The Doctor looked up to the three worried people gathered around and said: “She needs to go to Starfleet medical. Now!” 

  
  



	10. Or What?

Tom walked the same ten-foot length in the hallway for almost an hour, pacing, scratching his chin, and occasionally sharing a worried look with B'Elanna. Finally, her annoyance toward his anxious behavior had reached its boiling point. 

"Would you please sit down! The Doctor said that they were running a few tests, and it could take a while."

He shook his head and kept pacing. 

"They should have told us something by now! All this waiting and not knowing, it's killing me. Is she sick? Is it something dire? And how the hell are we going to tell Chakotay? He's been out of range for over three months now, and if something happens to Kathryn and he's not here, he will never forgive himself." 

He crossed his arms tightly to his chest.

"Would you relax? There isn't a reason to panic yet," B'Elanna said gently as her right hand rubbed circles on her stomach. 

“Your dad is a little crazy,” she whispered to the baby, sighing as she felt him move in response.

* * *

Kathryn focused on her breathing. Blood tests, urine tests, scans; she was growing more and more unnerved by all of the poking and prodding from the Doctor and the team of nurses. Finally, the Doctor came back into her room with some results, and hopefully, some answers. 

He looked towards the nurse who was readjusting Kathryn's monitors and quietly asked her to leave while he talked to his patient. The seriousness in his expression caused Kathryn's nerves to skyrocket. She knew that whatever he was about to tell her wouldn't be good. Her hands instinctively went to her stomach, cradling the precious life inside, hoping that whatever happened, her baby would be okay. 

"I apologize for the wait, but we wanted to double-check the results of your tests," he spoke slowly, and she could tell he was struggling to find the best way to say his news. 

Kathryn stared at him with eyes already filling with tears. She couldn't bring herself to speak, but she looked at him and nodded to let him know to continue.

"We found protein in your urine sample. This, along with your prolonged morning sickness, fatigue, high blood pressure, and your dizziness at the party, all point to preeclampsia." 

The air was ripped from her lungs as she could feel the earth cease rotation. Everything stopped. 

"It's quite uncommon for a woman as healthy as you are, at this stage in your pregnancy. I highly doubt you would make it to thirty-eight weeks, given the severity of your symptoms. At this point, we have to weigh the risks of you carrying to term. For you, it could mean seizures, kidney failure, or even a stroke. For the fetus, it's almost certain that he or she will be born early and will need intensive neonatal care, that's only if--" he paused and looked down at the padd in his hand. 

"If what?" she whispered. 

He looked back up, and his face took on a sort of sadness. 

"Only if the baby survives."

She shut her eyes and begged to be woken up from this nightmare, but opening them once more, she saw that this was her reality. Her child could die. 

The Doctor could see the panic and desperation in her eyes and continued to explain. 

"I'm hopeful that with close monitoring, strict bed rest, and no stress, you'll be able to make it as close to thirty-four weeks as possible. The closer you get to that mark, the fewer complications we'll face. Assuming termination is out of the question, the only other option would be to transfer the fetus to the womb of a surrogate, but that procedure in itself has extreme risks and would put the baby's life in danger."

"Termination isn't even a thought, and transferring is too dangerous. I will carry my child for as long as I possibly can," she knew that was the only option, and if she died, so be it, but she would do anything and everything to ensure that her child lived. 

"We may need to revisit this topic should your condition worsen."

She immediately shook her head. 

"No, there will not be another conversation about this, my decision is final. Please, just go. I need some time alone," her eyes shifted to the other side of the room, not wanting to see him, his eyes full of pity. 

He knew there was no use in pushing the issue any further so he slowly walked towards the door, trying hard to ignore her quiet sobs. 

* * *

Tom was barely asleep ten minutes when he felt something whack the side of his head. He opened his eyes to see his wife standing over him with her hands on her hips 

He rubbed the spot where a dull pain still remained. 

"You hit me!" he said. 

"You were snoring!" she replied.

"So, you hit me?" 

"Oh, don't be such a baby!" she said, pacing the area on the front of where he sat. 

"Weren't you the one who told me before to sit down and not panic?"

"That was before, this is now. If she were fine they would have told us already. Something is really wrong, Tom, I can feel it now."

"We don't know that for sure. Phoebe said that she was okay!"

She stopped walking and looked at Tom, close to tears. 

"I'm terrified. I keep thinking about Chakotay, and the fact that he has no idea she's here. I also keep thinking that… if you or I ever find ourselves in this situation, I wouldn't know what to do. If you went on a faraway mission and something happened to me, or Miral, or the baby. Or if I left and came back to find out something horrible happened, I'd just..." her soft sob cut off the rest of her sentence. 

Tom stood up and wrapped his arms around his wife. He held her close and laid a kiss on the top of her head. 

"Everything will be fine. And you and I aren't going anywhere anytime soon." 

She nodded and finally agreed to take a seat. Another twenty minutes went by before the Doctor approached them. 

"You can see her now if you'd like," he said.

They got up and followed the Doctor to Kathryn's room. She was awake, reading a PADD, her blankets pulled up to her chest. Phoebe had fallen asleep in the armchair on the far side of the room. 

"Hey!" Kathryn said with a guilty smile. 

"How are you feeling?" B'Elanna asked. 

"Much better, I'm sorry to worry you." 

B'Elanna walked closer and sat on the edge of Kathryn's bed. Tom followed but stopped and stood at the foot of the bed. 

"What the hell happened at the party?"

Kathryn looked into the concerned and caring eyes of her two friends and knew she had no other choice but to tell them the truth. 

"There's something I have to tell you both," she started. 

Kathryn took a deep breath and swallowed the fear that had formed a lump in her throat. She slowly lowered the covers and took B'Elanna's hand, guiding it to her stomach. The distinct firm roundness made B'Elanna gasp as the realization struck her. 

"You're pregnant?" she whispered.

Kathryn nodded. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Tom asked. 

"I was trying to wait until Chakotay was back in communications range so that I could tell him first."

Tom and B'Elanna remained silent for a few moments, taking in this information. After the shock wore off, B'Elanna spoke. 

"When can you go home?" 

"I...can't," Kathryn struggled to retain her composure. 

B'Elanna looked at Tom and silently asked for him to step out so they could talk in private. Tom nodded and walked out of the room, tossing a spare blanket on Phoebe as he passed by. 

* * *

"I just feel so awful," B'Elanna had said that phrase at least ten times since the two of them had left the hospital. 

Tom walked through their front door.

"I know, but I talked to Phoebe, and we agreed to work out a schedule so that someone can stay with Kathryn each day. This is going to be hard for her, but the best we can do right now is to make sure she's not alone."

He took off his jacket and then helped B'Elanna with hers.

"My thoughts keep going to Chakotay. He has no idea that she's even pregnant, let alone that --" just as she was about to finish, they both heard an incoming call. 

"I wonder who that could be, this late,"

As soon as the face appeared on their screen, both of their eyes went wide, and Tom's jaw nearly fell to the ground.

"Chakotay!" B'Elanna exclaimed.

"It's great to see you both again. But I've been calling Kathryn all day; I tried you both a few times too. What's going on? Where's Kathryn?"

Tom and B'Elanna shared a glance, both unsure what to say or how much to reveal. 

Chakotay's anxiety only grew with their silence. 

"What is it that you don't want to tell me?" he asked. 

"It isn't that we don't want to tell you, but we promised Kathryn to keep what we know to ourselves," Tom said. 

Chakotay paused, thinking on how to get more information from them. 

"The last time Kathryn and I spoke, she had something important to tell me, but our call was cut off before she could finish. Does this have to do with that?"

"Yes," B'Elanna said. 

"Well, if the two of you won't tell me anything, then can you at least tell me where Kathryn is? Or how to get in touch with her?"

There was another pause. Tom took a deep breath and blurted "She's at Starfleet Medical,"

He yelped as that earned a hard jab in the ribs from B'Elanna. 

"What? Is..is she okay?" They could hear the panic in his voice, though he tried to keep his expression neutral. 

"For now, yes," B'Elanna said calmly. 

"For now?"

Chakotay shook his head and struggled to speak, struggled to even breathe under the weight of his fear that something horrible had happened. 

"I'm coming home. I'll tell the Admirals in charge of this mission that I have a family emergency and take a shuttle back. Let Kathryn know that I'll be back in two weeks," he said. 

The screen went blank before either of them could respond. 

* * *

"It's kind of you to visit, but you really don't have to go out of your way," Kathryn said. 

B’Elanna pushed a chair next to the bed so they could be closer. She winced at a pain in her back as she sunk into the uncomfortable seat. 

"Don't worry about it! I'm officially on maternity leave until the baby comes, Tom took the day off to spend it with Miral, and am going to spend the day trying to cheer up my friend." 

Kathryn moved her hand to cover B'Elanna's, which rested on the bed. The two of them smiled, but then Kathryn's smile fell slightly. 

"You're hiding something," she said bluntly. 

B’Elanna’s eyes widened. 

"How the hell do you do that?" she asked. 

"I may be in a hospital bed, but my bullshit detectors work just fine. What's going on?"

"The Doctor told me not to tell you anything that could upset you or stress you out, so I'm not telling you anything. Stop asking."

"Or what? You know when you make a statement like that, it's best to follow it with an 'or what' or an 'or else.' Here, let me give you an example. You tell me what it is you're keeping from me or else I'll tell Tom everything that happened the night of the bachelorette party. And I do mean everything."

"You wouldn't." B’Elanna said. 

"Oh, I would," she threatened.

"Fine! Chakotay is back in communications range. He commed us last night in a panic because you weren't answering.”

Kathryn could feel her heartrate quicken.

"Did you tell him?" 

"No, but he knew we were hiding something, and he knows you're at Starfleet medical."

She relaxed a bit at the fact that he still didn’t know. She needed to be the one to tell him.

"Well, what did he say?" Kathryn asked. 

"He's coming home." 

  
  



End file.
